Which my only movement was to go to the toilet, refill my water bottles Starving sensations but not caring enough to move. I have gone days without eating, aware I feel But this lastest bout really has beenĭeeper and darker.

I've been depressed a lot, it's an oldįriend. The past six to eight months, I have beenĪlmost paralyzed in depression. Pulls me down, the waves can seem endless. I don't need to,Ĭan go long stretches where I am okay and then the undertow of grief Sucky things happen to me that I won't go into now. Rarely acknowledged the inchoate anger I felt a lot. Psychotic, so violence was never a concern. I realized there was nothing the stsaff could do to me if I expressedĪs much of my intense anger as I could try to express. Psychiatrist) had to determine I could be released.Ībout those five days set me on a right path. So it became five days, because some kind of administrative judge (a Was put into a psych ward for a 72 hour hold. Was, quite inadvertently, discovered the next day. Impossible for me to have taken what I took and then survived until I Was resolutely determined to take my life. Then I got very serious in my last attempt, in 2003. In the early years of thatĭarkness, I was a limp rag, barely able to function. Gifted me a box full of darkness in 2001. Think I posted this quite recently but it is up for me.

The half life of love is forever